Senior Track

Words of Wisdom

Below is a beautiful poem, a favorite of the lovely Audrey Hepburn,  used when asked to share her "beauty tips".  It was read at her funeral years later.

"For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed -  never throw out anyone. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself and one for helping others."

Wisdom from Will Rogers

Will Rogers, who died in a plane crash with Wylie Post in 1935, was probably the greatest political sage this country has ever known.  Enjoy the following:

1.  Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

2.  Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.  

3.  There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman...neither works.  

4.  Never miss a good chance to shut up.  

5.  Always drink upstream from the herd.  

6.  If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.  

7.  The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.  

8.  There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading.  The few who learn by observation.  The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.  

9.  Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.  

10.  If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.  

11.  Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.  

12.  After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring.  He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.  The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.



First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.  

Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers.  Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way.  I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Tenth ~ Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.  Today it's called golf

And finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.

More Wisdom from Andy Rooney

As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

  • A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

  • If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.

  • A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.

  • Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

  • Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

  • A woman over 40 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 40 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

  • Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. They always know.

  • Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

  • Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

  • Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

    Ladies, I apologize.

    For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.

The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.
The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.
Think about this..., No one ever says "It's only a game" when his team is winning.
There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.
A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.
Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

"Rules for Living"

  1. Never panic. Stop, breathe, think.

  2. No one is thinking about you. They're thinking about themselves, just like you. (This is especially important at parties if you feel self-conscious.)

  3. Never change haircut or color before an important event.

  4. Nothing is either as bad or as good as it seems.

  5. Do as you would be done by, e.g., thou shalt not kill.

  6. It is better to buy one expensive thing that you really like than several cheap ones that you only quite like.

  7. Hardly anything matters: If you get upset, ask yourself, 'Does it really matter?'

  8. The key to success lies in how you pick yourself up from failure.

  9. Be honest and kind.

  10. Only buy clothes that make you feel like doing a small dance.

  11. Trust your instincts. Not your overactive imagination.

  12. When overwhelmed by disaster, check if there's really a disaster by doing the following: a.) Think oh, f- - - it!;  b.) Look on the bright side.  If neither of the above works, then maybe it is a disaster so turn to items 1 and 4.

  13. Don't expect the world to be safe or life to be fair.

  14. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow.

  15. Don't regret anything. Remember there wasn't anything else that could have happened, given who you were and the state of the world at that moment. The only thing you can change is the present, so learn from the past.

Sometimes we all get a little to stressed with our live and we forget to remember when life was great. So for today be a kid again and forget about acting your age:)

  • Give yourself a gold star for everything you do today.

  • Grow a milk mustache

  • Open a pack of cupcakes and give one to a friend even though you wanted both of them for yourself

  • Have a staring contest with your cat

  • Kiss a frog just in case

  • Make a face the next time somebody tells you "no"

  • Ask "Why?" a lot

  • Believe in fairy tales

  • Have someone read you a story

  • Wear your favorite shirt with your favorite pants even if they don't match

  • Do a cartwheel

  • Hide your vegetables under your napkin

  • Make a "slurpy" sound with your straw when you get to the bottom of a milkshake

  • Sit really still for as long as the dog is asleep in your lap

  • Find some pretty stones and save them

  • Stick your head out the car window and moo if you see a cow

  • Walk barefoot in wet grass

  • Giggle at nude statues in a museum

  • Make cool screeching noises every time you turn a corner

  • Count the colors in a rainbow

  • Fuss a little, then take a nap

  • Take a running jump over a big puddle

  • Giggle a lot for no real reason

  • Do that tap-someone-on-the-shoulder-while-you-stand-on-their-opposite-side-and-they-turn-around-and-no-one's-there thing

  • Enjoy your all-time favorite candy-bar (Forget you've heard of calories!)

  • Throw something and when it lands make a cool exploding bomb noise

  • Squish some mud between your toes

  • Buy yourself a helium balloon

  • Put an orange slice in your mouth, peel side out, and smile at people

Doesn't it make you smile just thinking about it?  :)


Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we may as well dance.
Old age ain't for sissies! (Bette Davis)
He who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.
One who is slow in making a promise is most faithful in the performance of it.
The pleasure of what we enjoy is lost by wanting more.
One who is ashamed of asking is afraid of learning.
The secret of vast riches begins with a single penny.
You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.
Don't fish for compliments-you never really catch anything.
People who don't know where they are going, usually wind up somewhere else.

Andy Rooney's Thoughts on Life

  • I've learned.... that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

  • I've learned.... that the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

  • I've learned.... that when you're in love, it shows.

  • I've learned.... that just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day.

  • I've learned.... that having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

  • I've learned.... that being kind is more important than being right.

  • I've learned.... that you should never say no to a gift from a child.

  • I've learned.... that I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.

  • I've learned.... that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

  • I've learned.... that sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

  • I've learned.... that simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

  • I've learned.... that we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

  • I've learned.... that money doesn't buy class.

  • I've learned.... that it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

  • I've learned.... that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

  • I've learned.... that even the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

  • I've learned.... that to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

  • I've learned.... that love, not time, heals all wounds.

  • I've learned.... that the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

  • I've learned.... that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

  • I've learned.... that opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

  • I've learned.... that when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

  • I've learned.... that I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.

  • I've learned.... that one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

  • I've learned.... that a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

  • I've learned.... that I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.

  • I've learned.... that when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.

  • I've learned.... that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

  • I've learned.... that the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

    ~Andy Rooney

Technology can sometimes be a way of organizing the universe so we don't have to experience it.
Those who dream by day see things that escape those who only dream at night.
We fight to great disadvantage when we fight those who have nothing to lose.
Speak only good of people and you will never need to whisper.
It is fine to believe in ourselves, but we must not be too easily convinced.
Success is getting what you want. Happiness is liking what you get.
A good remedy for conceit is to sit down and make a list of all the things you don't know.
The person who does things that really count, usually doesn't stop to count them.
Liberty is one thing you cannot have unless you give it to others.
You wouldn't worry so often what others think of you if you knew how little they do.
Successful people are able because they THINK they are able.
In this world, there is always danger for those who are afraid of it.
If you want to be successful, you must first transform yourself into someone who wants to succeed.
A failure never becomes a hopeless mistake unless it stops you from trying again.
When you're dog-tired at night, maybe it's because you've growled all day.
Never claim as a right what you can ask for as a favor.
The only courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one moment to the next.
Competition brings out the best in products and sometimes the worst in people.
Flattery is like cake - if it causes you to want more, you have had too much.
Good sense about trivialities is better than nonsense about things that matter.
Timing is everything. It's as important to know when as to know how.

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